Why I Quit My "To Do" Lists

For those of you who have been with me since the beginning of my blog back in 2009, know that I'm a routine lover and proffessional list maker. I've been known to be quite OCD at times. This year though, has been the beginning of a new way of life for me. I have changed things quite dramatically. Recently I blogged about how moms just LOVE to be amazing at EV.ER.Y.THING and in the process we unintentionally run ourselves into the ground.

So this year I decided to make some changes, starting with my "to do" list. I came to the conclusion that my routines and mile long lists of things I needed to do were not serving me well. I felt busy all the time and I didn't like the affect it was having on my spirit and the way I treated my husband and children. I knew that some things needed to change. I wanted to be more present and relaxed without feeling a constant pull to get things done. So I let everything go. Well not everything, but I've made some major progress. I'm simply trying to allow room for God to guide me in my every day. Trying to become MORE by doing LESS.

To be clear, I didn't give up ALL lists. I still use them when necessary like to ensure I don't forget things, or when it comes crunch time and I MUST get certain things done. Basically I'm just a lot more selective. My lists and schedules got pretty ridiculous at times. Like writing down what time of day I would say a prayer,  or when I would sit and play with my kids.  I'd even go as far as mapping out everything we were going to do during the hour of play time. Although this method can actually be really good, for me it was removing myself from the actual moment. I was constantly thinking about what I needed to do next, had timers going all the time and I would never just sit and relax. It also made me extremely frustrated because the TIME schedule with my kids never went as planned.

I just want to simplify my life, and be happy with doing NOTHING once in a while, or having no plan for the day. Doing nothing can be very good for the soul.

The book I'm reading right now has been extremely helpful in this endeavor. It's called The Power of Pause by Terry Hershey.

"We live in a world that urges us to admire and pursue whatever is faster, whatever is newer, and whatever is bigger~ the underlying idea being that we should be living a different life, not the one we're living now. This is no surprise given the model by which we quantify success. Since we crave speed and we see productivity as our objective, these things become our standards for measuring how well we're doing."

By giving up my obsession for "to do" lists and schedules I have opened up a whole new space in my life that I didn't know existed. I'm leaving room for creativity and spontaneity.  It's quite refreshing. Not an easy task but it definitely has it's rewards. 

February Challenge

14 Days of Loving Yourself

Thank you to my friend Heather who suggested that in honor of Valentines Day, we should focus on Self Love. I'm actually really excited about this and TOTALLY need to work on loving myself more.

To be completely honest, I lack confidence more than I’d like to admit. I struggle with self doubt due to the comparison game. I cannot seem to shake this one but determined to master it. I think most women can relate. One minute we're feeling so confident and secure, then in walks a beautifully flawless women and suddenly you feel like the ugliest women in the room. This is what I do to myself in the blogging world. 

February's challenge couldn’t be more perfect for this time in my life. I want to love and appreciate my own unique gifts and talents. I want to be inspired by the success of others instead of allowing it to bring me down or make me feel inadequate. I wannabe CONFIDENT!

“You should never be the smartest person in the room. There’s always going to be somebody who’s smarter to learn from — and that’s a good thing.”

Jessica Alba

"Your piano teacher was right: practice does make perfect. “The best way to build confidence in a given area is to invest energy in it and work hard at it,” says Schwartz. Many people give up when they think they’re not good at a particular job or task, assuming the exertion is fruitless. But Schwartz argues that deliberate practice will almost always trump natural aptitude. If you are unsure about your ability to do something — speak in front of large audience, negotiate with a tough customer — start by trying out the skills in a safe setting. “Practice can be very useful, and is highly recommended because in addition to building confidence, it also tends to improve quality. Actually deliver the big presentation more than once before the due date. Do a dry run before opening a new store,” says Gruenfeld. Even people who are confident in their abilities can become more so with better preparation."

-Amy Gallo

Do:

• Practice regular positive self talk.
• Say Exactly what you mean.
• Stay away from negative people.
• Let go of what you can't control.
• Be honest with yourself about what you know and what you still need to learn.
• Practice doing things that aren't always easy or comfortable.
• Embrace failure! Failure IS success!
• Stand tall and practice good posture.
• Smile
• Be grateful
• Exercise

Don't:

• Worry about what other people think.
• Be a people pleaser.
• Speak badly about yourself.
• Give up!
• Be afraid to say "NO".
• Be afraid to say "YES".
• Focus on whether or not you have the ability, instead focus on the value you provide.
• Hesitate to ask for validation if you need it. It's OKAY to ask for honest feedback.
• Be afraid to try new things.
• Judge others, it's a reflection of what you think about yourself.

Use the prompts below to participate in the challenge. Be sure you’re all set up on Periscope because some days you will be doing a Periscope video. Always use the hashtag #wannabeconfident so that we can connect with each other that way. If you have not done a Periscope before then be sure to introduce yourself and post your username in the Wannabe Balanced Facebook group.

1. Love Letter to Self (read daily)

Write a love letter to yourself. Be very detailed and write it as if God is saying these things to you. After all, God is the greatest source of love and we should be opening ourselves up to receive his love on a daily basis. So be sure to read this letter DAILY!

2. Periscope: What are your Gifts and Talents? I want to hear what you know to be your God given gifts and talents.

3. Pamper Yourself, take a long bath with candles, give yourself a facial, manicure, pedicure, or go get a massage. Just do something that makes you feel good about yourself.

4. Go for a walk while saying positive affirmations. It’s always a good idea to be alone in nature and give yourself some positive self talk. Notice the beauty and thank God for all he has given you. Praise yourself for the challenges you’ve overcome, or the choices you’ve made that turned out to be a really good thing. Give yourself credit for a job well done and at the same time, thank God for guiding you and giving you the strength to endure.

5. Periscope: Tell us about something you did that you're really proud of.

6. Every time you look in the mirror today, give yourself a compliment.

7. Cultivate a morning routine that includes alone time with God. There’s nothing like the peace you find in the quiet hours of the morning. My day goes SO much better if I can wake up before the kids and have a little quiet time with God. I thank him for increasing my understanding and ask him to guide me as I go about my day.

8. Periscope: What gives you purpose? What do you enjoy doing that gives you great satisfaction and fulfillment?

9. Exercise hard today! Push yourself extra hard to recieve the euphoric feeling that comes after a job well done.

10. Periscope: Share a healthy habit you'd like to incorporate into your life. Could be something as simple as drinking an extra glass of water each day, or adding a new super food to your diet.

11. Enjoy the sunrise with positive affirmations. The sunrise is one of the most amazing things to witness. Most the time I’m too caught up in the book I’m reading, or my journaling that I don’t even look up to take it all in. 

12. Periscope: Share a recent "Tender Mercy". What kinds of little miracles have you witnessed in your life within the last week? Are you noticing all that God is providing for you? A lot of times God answers prayers through the voice of another person.

13. Listen to happy music and dance. Oh how I love listening to music. It’s an instant pick me up. I’ve kind of created a ritual in my house. I love to turn the fire place on, light a candle, and play some music. It instantly lifts my spirit.

14. Happy Valentines Day!!!! Share a picture that best describes “LOVE”. 

Please share this, heaven knows we ALL need it. Let's help each other reach greater heights of confidence and self love. 

Let's Get Social NOT on Social Media

  I want to set a couple goals.  I'd like to do something DAILY that is out of my comfort zone. I want to be more social and outgoing when I'm out and about. I want to pay attention to others instead of just focusing on what I need to get done.  I'm generally a pretty social person. But what you don't use you lose! Being a mom of 4 small children makes it easy to just stay home and work on the millions of things on my "to do" list.

  Many of us, including myself, have gotten so comfortable communicating through a key board and we've become a little socially awkward. Don't get me wrong, I love Facebook and Instagram.  But lets keep the real life communication alive. Let's type less and TALK more! Let's get social, NOT on social media. So I want to get out more. Get back to my high school roots. I was a social butterfly back then and my mom could NOT keep me home.  I always wanted to be out among people. 

  

 Reasons why I feel it is important to be social:

#1. We NEED people. We all have the deep desire within us to have relationships, connect with others, to love and to be loved. 

#2.  People need YOU!!! God has made us all unique with different gifts and talents that were meant to be shared. Maybe your gift is the gift of compassion, or understanding. Or maybe you're a good listener. Maybe you have a story that other people need to hear. Perhaps what you say or do is an answer to someone's prayer. I believe that most answers to prayers come through another individual. So how can we BE an answer to someone's prayer if we are never around?

#3. It gives us PURPOSE. For the two reasons above, being social gives us purpose. We can wake up each day with the attitude, "who can I serve today?"  Sharing a piece of ourselves with others is the way to true joy and fulfillment in life. 

   A few weeks ago I learned of this amazing new platform called Periscope. It's a way to share messages via live video streaming. Another thing I'm not so comfortable with, is speaking in front of people. We all know that things get easier with repetition. So I feel like doing a Periscope video each day will help me overcome that fear, and to share the messages in my heart. It's much easier to NOT blog and periscope, but that is not going to help me grow. Also, I will be missing out on the opportunity to share my story and gifts with others. 

  Ultimately my goal is to become the best version of me. And that won't happen if I'm not pushing myself to do uncomfortable things. 

   So I want to challenge everyone to do this with me. This isn't about ME, it's about US. Lets do something uncomfortable every day! 

  I'd love to watch YOUR videos on Periscope, so please let me know if you are doing videos of your own so that I can be sure to follow you. This way I will be notified when you are live.