What is Beauty?

Yesterday's post brought in a lot of really good feedback, some positive, and some REALLY negative. My first reaction was the urge to fire back, then my second was to ignore it and TRY not let it bother me, and my third reaction was to let it inspire me to write this post. I have a really hard time holding things in. Talking about it and getting the chance to explain myself, makes me feel sooo much better. Maybe this is a bad thing, but I don't care, I'm going to do it anyway.
So, due to this really mean comment someone left me yesterday I've chosen to not allow anonymous comments anymore. I don't need mean people leaving me comments who don't even have the guts to reveal who they are.
First of all, I'm really sorry if I offended anyone by talking about horoscopes and patriarchal blessings as if they were equally the same. I was simply trying to relate to the masses. Not everyone is LDS and not everyone even knows what a patriarchal blessing is, so I was just trying to find things that people could relate to as far as what they choose to believe.
And now for my real purpose for this post. The comment that inspired this was "why did people laugh when you said you wanted to go on a mission? Please don't say something like, they thought I was too pretty".
Hah! Well, ya know what? That was not the reason AT ALL.
If people weren't so quick to judge then maybe they'd learn a little something.  Without going into too much detail, all I have to say is,  you NEVER know what people have been through. Coming from a broken home, and moving every 6 months didn't exactly give me any kind of stability a child needs. I was always changing schools in the middle of the school year, which of course put a lot of stress on me, trying to make friends, getting comfortable in my new area and  adjusting to the new school program. I always felt behind in everything, while the rest of the class seemed to be doing fine. I began to think that I wasn't very smart, and my grades made me believe I would never amount to much.
Of course I'm grateful for these experiences now because I can see how it's made me stronger as a person. It took a long time for me to believe that I wasn't stupid. So with this bad self image brought a lot of bad life choices. Most everyone in my family dropped out of high school, got into drugs or alcohol, never went to college... it was all I knew. I believed that I wasn't anything special and that I probably would never do anything great in my life. So serving a mission was the last thing people would have expected me to do, and it was the last thing I ever thought to do.
 After all these years of feeling this way about myself, suddenly a light turned on! I was starting to realize my true potential, and I didn't have to settle for less. I COULD be amazing, I started to BELIEVE that I could do ANYTHING I wanted! Learning the truth about myself literally SET ME FREE from the bondage of self doubt.
Here is a picture of me on my mission with my natural hair color, no tan, glasses, and about 20 pounds heavier. I wasn't anything too exciting to look at. And who ever said that "pretty" people don't serve missions anyway? Each and every one of my mission companions were GORGEOUS! They didn't choose to go on a mission because they couldn't get married. They chose to go because they simply wanted to make a difference in someone's life.


I don't think I'm any prettier than the average person. Anyone can wear make up, hair extensions, false eyelashes, body shapers to look thinner, get braces on their teeth and bleach them to make them white, color their hair, and take a good picture.
What is beauty? Well, we all know that true beauty comes from within. I don't think there is anything wrong with enhancing the way you look in some ways. The bad thing is when you think your looks are ALL you have.
I've learned that there is more to life than LOOKS. I love to share tips on hair, skin, and weight loss. It's fun and it makes us women feel good to pamper ourselves and to FEEL pretty, but it's only one small part of life. I also share my thoughts and life experiences that don't have anything to do with beauty. It's all about balance, and not getting too obsessed with any one thing.
Anyway, I feel so much better getting that off my chest.
Thank you all for listening :)

43 comments:

Shell said...

I'm sorry that you had such a hateful comment yesterday. I thought your post was very lovely- it made me think.

Even though I think you are beautiful- inside and out- I didn't get anything having to do with that in your post yesterday...either I majorly missed something or your anonymous commenter is just jealous of you, my dear.

DAVE, ARIELLE and GRAYSON said...

THANKS soo much for writing this post, too many people judge others way too quickly and harshly! How awesome are you for going on a mission- that is sooo wonderful- It sounds like you have really made a wonderful life for yourself even though it could have turned out very differently! You chose to have a better life, you chose to be a better person, you chose to be Happy- Way To Go! Don't let others unhappiness in life bring you down- your Blog is awesome and I love hearing from you because I relate in soo many ways- Thank you for always being honest to yourself and who you are, and if you are girly than that is totally awesome- I LOVE posts on beauty, but I also love posts on everything else- so THANKS!

alexis said...

uh oh, crystal...haters! you know what that means...you're a big time blogger now!

way to be classy and not take the low road. very good post, i'm glad you said it and that you feel better now. i hope this doesn't affect the way you blog in the future. i think you're great just the way you are.

Verena said...

My dear Crystal,
I can tell, we are thinking a lot alike! I love to read your Blog!I love all the thought´s you have. And that you are so open! I can tell that all of your experiences made you stronger! How admirable!!! And how wonderful it is that you made the decision to serve a Mission and you even went to a foreign country! God has blessed you for doing this!
I grew up in East-Germany and we left in 1984 (a few years before the wall came down). The years before we left they gave us a hard time. And live wasn´t easy, but it made us stronger! And we were glad we had the Gospel in our Life!
Years later I decided to serve a Mission! My friends thought I was weird and I also heard those things WHY ARE YOU GOING ON A MISSION? YOU ARE PRETTY.YOU DON`T NEED TO DO IT. I think those people haven´t understood the purpose of a Mission. So I went to Salt Lake City Temple Square.:) I was always scared and shy to talk in front of many people. And there I had to speak to over a hundred people almost every time. I think this was soooo inspired that I was sent there! I´ve learned a lot and the language a little :)!!!
I think you are a great Woman!
And you and your Family are always welcome in our home!
Fühl Dich umarmt!
Verena

Rene W. said...

This is clearly someone who hasn't made the effort to get to know you or your blog before! It amazes me that people will spend time making an offensive comment on someone else's blog... it's like walking into somebody's home and dissaproving the furniture. Thank you for sharing your story - you are beautiful inside & out, and I'm so blessed to have met you virtually!!

Unknown Mami said...

You were gorgeous then, you are gorgeous now. That doesn't mean anything, it's just looks and judgements should not be made about you based on your attractiveness. I'm sorry that you got a nasty comment from anonymous. Don't let it get to you. They only left it because they were anonymous. it's not right.

Carrie said...

You didn't need to redeem yourself at all. You didn't do anything wrong. There is always one jerk that has to rain on everyone's parade to hundreds that are like snowflakes very unique and special and accepting. So there's your ratio. Flourish in the positive good comments. Love ya tons and wish I was doing a playdate with you right now!

Daisygirl said...

I'm proud of you! I think it is a good idea to get rid of those anonymous comments but what happened led you to another fabulous post.

I think you are beautiful inside and out and feel extremely blessed to have you as a friend.

On a funny note: I am starving right now, hope your cleanse day is going good!

Megan said...

Im sorry people made you feel like that with comments yesterday. What a horrible thing to do.

and I think your mission picture is gorgeous.

Nick, Steph and Chase Baby said...

Crystal, You're an absolutely amazing person. I only know you from FB and Isogenix and you have inspired me to be a better person. Thanks for making a difference in my life. I love how you're so honest and talk about real things. Thanks :)

{The Classy Woman} said...

Crystal, don't worry about the mean people. I didn't see what they wrote but shame on them! I read yesterday's post and enjoyed it, I thought it was great that you could be so open and 'real' about where you were at.


I have an anonymous feature on my blog and so far so good. I'm sure if that happened to me I would do what you did too. Blogs are self expressions, if people don't have anything nice to say they should visit another blog.

Like you I don't do well with keeping things all bottled up, I think it's good to get it off your chest and then move on. :)

I admire you for being so candid and sharing about the braces, hair extensions etc. You are beautiful with and without them. What's more beautiful is a pure and joyful heart, which you seem to have.

Thanks for stopping by and visiting my blog!

Hugs,
Karla

jenn said...

so sorry about that mean commenter.
i love your transparency...that's my whole point in blogging.
i can be completely honest with myself...
i love being able to get things off my chest and clearing the air.

i love your blog!!!

Sean Escobar said...

So we all know that the person who said those awful things is reading all of these comments and just infuriated. lol Look some people are toxic, they have toxic personalities and toxic relationships as a result. Everything that resonates from them, thought and words are toxic. They are cancerous to everyone they come in contact with, they are unhappy. I would bet money that the person that wrote that has hardly any true friends and lives a meaningless life, probably on a host of meds including antidepressants. Very low self esteem, constantly belittling others, criticizing them in an effort to elevate themselves. Would I dare say it to their face? I just did! So shape up you anonymous poison spewer, or just don't participate in the blog until you can behave. "Anonymous" that kills me.

Lacie @ Creative Attempts said...

There is such a big diffrece between having an opinion and being mean. So I'm sorry for the person that doesn't know the distinction. As for today's post I loved it. I was born and raised in the church but am not active at this time although most of my family is and well most of my friends. I blame it on needing to sort some things out but reading his made me realize I have to start taking some steps to get the answers I need. Thank you for sharing your story and being willing to put yourself out there we are better because of it

SandGs Mom said...

the great thing is, crystal, that peoples words are just words. you're better than them. As long as you're true to God first, yourself next and continue to be who you are you've got a lot going for ya.

The PWT said...

I love this post. Beauty is more than skin deep. I've known many a woman who would fit in on the runway, but I wouldn't want to be friends with because they are ugly inside. On the other hand... I think all my friends are beautiful regardless of how others may judge their outward appearance. And outward beauty has no bearing on ones ability or willingness to do good for others.

Mills Family said...

Coming from a broken home to and not having contact with my family as you know has been hard. It has made me feel in some ways that it was me and that I failed or that I am able to be loved. I understand every word you wrote...
My thoughts are # 1 beauty does come from within and it shines through to the outward.. people can be drop dead hot on the outside but be lonely on the inside..
I think the WORLD of you and always have.. you inspire me so much in so many ways..
Keep on being you... your just amazing the way you are, but you know that!!!

Look how many people love you!!!

Carrie K said...

Wow, Thank you.

FourJedis said...

I, too, appreciate your ability to just put yourself out there and hold nothing back. It's a shame that someone would leave something nasty and not have the guts to show themselves. I really love the comments your hubby leaves on your blog. So sweet.

dinomomma.com said...

Visiting from SITS.
I hate anonymous comments. If you don't have the guts to say something without a mask, why say it?
And I have to say, your mission picture? Absolutely beautiful

cheri said...

is it wrong that i went back to the previous post, looking for that comment, in the hope that i could give that person a piece of my mind?

and is it wrong if i say that i LOVE you natural hair color (why'd you change it?)?

A Lil Story said...

I loved your last post, and i love this post. It is almost weird how similar our pasts are... it takes quite a toll on the self-esteem when you grow up like that. I so glad you have grown in your faith, learned to get past the self-doubt and realize your true worth! I still struggle with it sometimes, but God has really gotten me through those regrets...

Love the heartfelt posts and the fun posts! You have a great mix! =)

scrapwordsmom said...

Aww, Crystal...you are so beautiful inside and out. That is why the first time I first found your blog I loved it...I could feel your authenticity!!! I am sorry you got such a lousy comment...obviously that person was jealous of something.

Several years ago I had a website and I shared my conversion story on it. It's a long story but to make it short I later found another site that had taken my very sacred story and were making fun of it. I was devastated. It was because of this that I lost all interest in my business that I had loved so dearly. I am so happy that is in the past and I'm now blogging and making friends.

People can be so CRUEL!!

I imagine you were an amazing sister missionary!!!!

Love,
Leslie

Elaine said...

Crystal, this was a fabulous post! You're a strong and beautiful woman. I'm so glad you're not afraid to show it. Keep doing what you do even if there are people who aren't happy or secure with themselves.

Elaine
clothed much, a modest fashion blog

Allyson & Jere said...

Very well said. Sucks that people can be so mean and catty. I think you handled that very well. Plus, it was interesting to get some background on you. AND see the mission pic. Which I might add, is about a million times better looking than any of my mission pics. Man, I had some serious hair!

Maureen @ TatterScoops said...

Crystal, you are spot on about beauty comes from within most and most importantly! I'm sorry you got such a mean comment. That post about horoscope and the blessing was a great one, it got me thinking too and I even look up that blessing since I never heard of it before. You're a strong, smart, beautiful and fantastic woman!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I have been wracked for that before too- saying that I have "ulterior" motives for posts/ect. It is sad, because others throw their "things" on you. YOu are wonderful, just remember that.

Addison AND Crews Mama said...

Crystal, I think you are a beautiful person both inside and out. How sad that somebody had to leave such a comment because of their own insecurities. I truly think you are such an amazing person! We need to get together soon.
xoxo

The Blind Spot said...

Sweetie, I always thought you were beautiful on your mission, no matter what all the Klöße and Rotkraut had done to you ;) I didn't know about your family background, sad to hear that. But you made it, you are a successful and smart woman with a beautiful family. You're a lovely person with a big heart and that truly makes you beautiful from the inside. Love, Denise

Crystal said...

So glad you served a mission. Sister missionaries are the best!

Young Wife said...

Sorry you got a mean comment! I think you look really pretty in your mission picture. You're right, though. True beauty comes from within.

Joby, Julie, and Cru said...

Wow, there was nothing offensive about your post. It was lovely! Unfortunately the world is full of miserable people. I remember when I was working for a news station I wrote an simple article about how the world has beauty within if thats what you choose to see. You don't need to be like chicken little and always think "the sky is falling." I received so much hate mail you would think I attacked their honor. Any time you put heart felt feelings and beliefs on the line you are going to get the crazies trying to make you question those beliefs or try to make you feel stupid. I'm sure you experienced that many times on your mission. Way to stick to your conviction. That shows your strength.
Additionally, as you can see with "anonymous" your opposers are usually cowards who use ad hominem tactics as opposed to a constructive argument.

Slamdunk said...

It sounds like you handled the adversity well Crystal.

It is a shame that some folks use anonymous comments to incite. Unfortunately, I have had to put more time than I want to in managing comments after allowing unnamed people to reply--I still do because some of my regular readers reply with respect as anonymous.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by over at my place and I am a new follower here as well.

nmaha said...

That was a very strong heartfelt entry...kudos to you

julie said...

So sorry you had a nasty comment. I think you handled it very well though.

I'm stopping by from SITS for Saturday Sharefest. I hope the rest of your weekend is better!

Scha&Andi said...

i am so lost. what happened? i will talk to this person. and trust me i will not be so nice. you are wonderful and i love you. you are a beauty anyway you want to look at it. inside and out. i am so glad we get to have you in our family. share our lives with you. sean is a better man because he has you. i know you mean well at everything you say and do. you are a tender and caring person through and through. the best thing about you is your honestly and that you have become fearless. your living the life you want to live. you go girl and for hells sake, DO NOT GIVE ANYONE PERMISSION TO CRUSH YOUR DREAMS! stay on top.

Aaron [air] said...

you made me feel so warm when I read this.
I truly look to people for respect & what they bring to my life, not at their looks, etc.
I just posted on my photography blog yesterday about people judging people for their body types & sizes after someone had the nerve to say something terrible to me about my weight.
I wish the world would wake up & love one another. If you are going to not like someone or judge them let it be for a reason other than vanity.

I had a very similar life to you also. I moved ALOT & always felt I had to "fit in" and as an adult its been hard on me but yet motivating to be a good mom & give my children stability.

Crystal I love your view on life. You are really a rare find & I hope we get to meet up in person one day! ;)

Emmy said...

Your post was beautifully written, I don't know why you got so many mean comments. Sorry :( I recently got a comment asking why getting in shape wasn't part of my "30 things to do this summer" since I had just had a baby. The commenter said after his wife had a baby he gave her a nutrition and fitness book. I hope she used it, to smack him upside the head. :) Some people are just idiots.

Sara McArthur said...

First off, I want to say I am a new reader to your blog and I love you! You are like the person I want to see myself becoming five years down the road. I love that you combine pampering, fun beauty with the realness and importance of life. Just because you bleach your hair, wear extension, fake bake or whatever doesn't mean that you are somehow implying you are better than other people. I didn't get that vibe from your last post at all, nor did I think that others did. Whoever posted that comment, did it because it was what they felt, and what they were looking to find. More power to you, for standing up for yourself, for being okay feeling powerful and beautiful regardless of it is considered unnatural beauty. Like you said, anyone can put on makeup. Anyone can wear extensions. Anyone can get their skin fixed. Yes it does take money, but if it was truly someones priority than they would find a way to do it. People don't need to make you feel stupid or wordly because you enjoy spending time making yourself feel beautiful in your own way.

theriddle said...

Hi Crystal, I ran across your blog because we have a mutual friend from Germany:Denise Heinzmann from Gera. And all my mission companions were gorgeous too! Keep up the good work. Joanie

Charlene said...

Thanks Crystal ;)

I just wanted to say just from reading this post today, that you are not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well!

Stacey Smith said...

visiting via the Red Dress Club.

That was a great post. Gotta follow now :)

MJB said...

Beautiful post! Couldn't have said it any better! This post really brought tears to my eyes. Please don't ever let any hate mongers steal your joy. You are inspirational, Crystal!

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