Battle of The Poopy Diapers

How is it possible that such a little person, can produce so much POOP? I'm changing at least 4 or 5 poopy diapers a day. My daughter was much different and so predictable, once, maybe twice a day is all, and usually in the mornings. Of course she had the occasional blow out, that always happened at the most inopportune times. Like the time I decided to take her to a movie when she was 18 months old, which was a very bad idea to begin with. The second we sat down, I noticed this horrid smell. Of course, she happened to be sitting on my lap, I lifted her up and saw that it was coming out from all ends and had already soiled her entire outfit plus left a nice smear on my pants. I rushed her into the bathroom, carefully tried to remove the onesie without leaving traces of poop in her hair, and of course had little success. I frantically reached into the diaper bag while trying to hold her still, and of all days, no wet wipes, and no extra clothes. And to make matters worse, no paper towels in the bathroom, just one of those air dryers, ugh, I hate those things (although, I am trying to be more "Green"). Luckily a lady walked in at that moment, and I asked her to PLEASE HELP!!! She kindly ran and found me some paper towels. So I wetted those down and began the clean up. Thirty minutes later, I had Lily in a fresh diaper (I did have one of those, thank goodness), and wrapped her in a blanket. Talk about a disaster.

What is it about changing a poopy diaper, that sparks this uncontrollable desire to be recognized for it. I find that my husband and I are always competing when it comes to who has changed "the poopiest diaper ever". For some reason we always explain to each other in great detail how bad it was... "the poop was every where, all the way up to his neck, I must have used at least a dozen wet wipes, oh man, that was seriously, the POOPIEST diaper ever". I mean, really, why is this so? Like this adds some kind of validation, that, yes, we ARE amazing!!!! Tada, look what I did. There must be some sort of award for this? It's like we can't just change a dirty diaper without telling each other about it, I've tried to suppress the urge before, but it just comes, and all I really want is for my husband to say, "oh honey, you won. For this I will change all the poopy diapers as long as we have unpotty trained kids". Oh yes, this is my goal.